Log in

01 November 2014 @ 05:52 pm
I should be working on my lab that's due tonight and my program that's due tomorrow, but here I am, trying to stay updated on Arashi.

aaaand I've reached a wall.

It's so frustrating that the fandom has come to this. Like, I understand that filesharing is illegal and people want to protect themselves, but damn. It is absolutely impossible to find anything or anyone friendly enough to help.

I'm not sure if I've shared this on this journal before, but a couple months after I turned 18, I got my first tattoo (here). Yes, it's the kanji for "Arashi." When I got that tattoo, I was starting to lose touch with fandom. However, I knew I would never regret it because, to me, "Arashi" is so much more than the 5-member Japanese boyband. "Arashi" represents the awesome people I've met and created relationships with (both online and in real life) and the experiences we've had together.

I'm sad that new/current fans won't be able to experience that.

I'm sad that that part of my life is over.

I just want to watch the LOVE Tour DVD :(
10 June 2014 @ 10:54 pm

I've decided to try and keep this journal alive.

So yeah, I've been going through my meme tag and I came across this one. Redoing it with my answers now (underlined) and keeping my old answers to see just how much I've changed.

I am 5'4" or shorter
I think I'm ugly

I have many scars
I tan easily
I wish my hair was a different colour
I have friends who have never seen my natural hair color
I have a tattoo
I am self-conscious about my appearance

I have/I've had braces
I wear glasses
I'd get plastic surgery if it were 100% safe, free, scar-free
I've been told I'm attractive by a complete stranger
I have more than 2 piercings
I have piercings in places besides my ears
I have freckles

Family/Home Life
I've sworn at my parents
I've been kicked out of the house
My biological parents are together
I have a sibling less than one year old
I want to have kids someday
I have children
I've lost a child

I've slipped out a "lol" in a spoken conversation
Disney movies still make me cry
I've snorted while laughing
I've laughed so hard I've cried
I've glued my hand to something
I've laughed till some kind of beverage came out of my nose
I've had my pants rip in public

I was born with a disease/impairment
I've had stitches
I've broken a bone
I've had my tonsils removed
I've sat in a doctor's office with a friend
I've had my wisdom teeth removed
I had a serious surgery
I've had chicken pox

I've driven over 200 miles in one day
I've been on a plane

I've been to Canada
I've been to Niagara Falls
I've been to Japan

I've Celebrated Mardi Gras in New Orleans
I've been to Europe
I've been to Africa
I've been to France

I've been lost in my city
I've seen a shooting star
I've wished on a shooting star
I've seen a meteor shower
I've gone out in public in my pajamas
I've pushed all the buttons on an elevator
I've been to a casino

I've been skydiving
I've gone skinny dipping
I've played spin the bottle
I've crashed a car
I've been skiing
I've been in a play
I've met someone in person from the internet
I've caught a snowflake on my tongue
I've seen the Northern Lights
I've sat on a roof top at night
I've played chicken
I've played a prank on someone
I've ridden in a taxi

I've seen the Rocky Horror Picture Show
I've been snowboarding

I'm single
I'm in a relationship
I'm available
I'm engaged
I'm married
I've gone on a blind date
I've been the dumpee more than the dumper
I miss someone right now
I have a fear of abandonment

I've been divorced
I've had feelings for someone who didn't have them back
I've told someone I loved them when I didn't
I've told someone I didn't love them when I did
I've kept something from a past relationship

I've had a crush on someone of the same gender
I've kissed a member of the same gender
I've had sex with someone of the opposite gender
I've had sex with someone of the same gender
I've had sex with more than one person at the same time
I am a cuddler
I've been kissed in the rain
I've had sex outdoors
I've hugged a stranger
I have kissed a stranger
I have had sex with a stranger

I've done something I promised someone else I wouldn't
I've done something I promised myself I wouldn't

I have lied to my parents about where I am
I am keeping a secret from the world
I've cheated while playing a game
I've cheated on a test

I've run a red light

I've been suspended from school
I've witnessed a crime
I've been in a fist fight
I've been arrested
I've shoplifted

I've consumed alcohol
I smoke cigarettes
I smoke pot
I regularly drink
I've taken painkillers when I didn't need them
I've done hard drugs
I've been addicted to an illegal substance
I take cough meds when I'm not sick
I can't swallow pills
I can swallow about 5 pills at a time no problem

Mental health
I have been diagnosed with depression
I shut others out when I'm depressed
I take anti-depressants
I have an eating disorder
I've slept an entire day when I didn't need it
I've hurt myself on purpose
I'm addicted to self harm
I've woken up crying

I'm afraid of dying
I hate funerals
I've seen someone dying

I have attempted suicide
Someone close to me has attempted suicide

I can sing well
I've stolen a tray from a fast food restaurant
I open up to others too easily
I don't kill bugs
I curse regularly
I sing in the shower

I am a morning person (i can be~)
I paid for my cell phone ring tone
I'm a snob about grammar (at times XD)
I am a sports fanatic
I play with my hair

I have/had "x"s in my screen name
I love being neat
I've copied more than 30 CDs in a day
I bake well
My favorite colour is either white, yellow, pink, red or blue

I don't know how to shoot a gun
I am in love with love
I am guilty of tYpInG lIkE tHiS
I laugh at my own jokes
I eat fast food weekly
I believe in ghosts

I am online 24/7, even as an away message

I can't sleep if there is a spider in the room
I am really ticklish
I love white chocolate

I bite my nails
I play video games
I'm good at remembering faces
I'm good at remembering names
I'm good at remembering dates
I have no idea what I want to do for the rest of my life
I add something to the end of almost everything I say; ex: yeah, you know, yo, dawg.
I've been honest while filling out this meme

Is anyone even gonna see this, other than myself? Haha, whatever. It'll still be nice to look at, I guess.

'til next time ♥
10 June 2014 @ 09:50 pm
//2014.06.10 So I went to write a post and LJ asked me if I wanted to restore an autosaved draft and all this popped up! I'm just posting what I had before I write the post I meant to :Db I'm sad I don't remember when this was from, though.

Wow, I haven't been on here in aaages. I was just going through my last posts I've made on here, and SO many things have happened since then. Even though no one will probably read this, let's do a quick update!

  • The last couple weeks of senior year went by so quickly. The only time I cried was during the top 10 breakfast. We all had to introduce ourselves and say a few words about who we brought with us. I brought my mom and Mrs. Nehring, one of my math teachers. All the other teachers I would've brought were already invited. She got me "Oh, The Places You'll Go" by Dr. Seuss. So sweet of her ♥ but yeah, I started choking up while I was talking about how she helped me in math and my eyes started tearing up when the others were talking about their teachers and then I lost it when Mrs. Lampros (our principal) gave her speech. After that (like, literally right after. Haha) was the Senior Awards Ceremony. I remember just being really proud of all of my friends and the class as a whole.

  • Graduation was...hmm. So the morning of, we had the final marching practice. I guess someone ended up graduating (or not graduating, idk) and our marching partners got switched up TT.TT I'm still quite bitter over the fact that I didn't get to march with my marching buddy... I ended up marching with this guy, Eric, my Fringe buddy. He's great, don't get me wrong, but ksdlafj; I was kinda heartbroken :( Other than that, it went well. Haha. Right afterwards, we went down to Boston for Project Graduation at Medieval Manor. It was a blast. My favorite part of the night was when we got back to school and I said goodbye to my friends for the last time. I'll never forget the hug from William and walking home with Madeline for the last time. /ugh, the feels.

  • A week after graduation, I started working at the UNH-IOL.

  • I got that tattoo I had been talking about! July 5th, I think it was. I went with Diana (who also got a tattoo that day). I love it soooo much. Pics here! I got it more for the experiences I had as an Arashi fan more so than Arashi themselves. That time of my life as an Arashi fan (well, I'll forever be an Arashi fan, but you get the idea) was just....indescribable. Cheesy as it sounds, I would not be who I am today without them.

  • Also, right after I got the tattoo, Diana and I got in a minor car accident where she drove into a stop sign at a Walmart parking lot. Yeah, that was an exciting day.

  • The highlight of the summer was definitely August 2nd~3rd. On Friday, August 2nd, my sister took me to the Under the Sun Tour 2013 at Hampton Beach. It was a 21+ show, so I snuck in with her ID. We got front row. It was one of my favorite concert experiences, tbh. So the show was Smash Mouth, Sugar Ray, Gin Blossoms, Vertical Horizon, and Fastball. I knew less than half the songs that they played but it was thoroughly enjoyable nonetheless. Great music, great crowd. Awesomeness all around.

  • The day after was Emblem3's Nothing to Lose concert! The concert itself was meh, but we got VIP and I still can't get over how awesome the pictures came out. Also, after the concert, the boys did an album signing and, well. You can read about that (and the rest of the concert experience) here :P

  • My cousin/childhood best friend moved here from Indonesia in August. We went on a day trip to New York City to pick him up, which was fun. We went up the Empire State Building and such.

  • The day after, I moved into my dorm! I moved in a week early for a pre-orientation program called Connect. It's for multicultural and/or low-income students. I thought it would be a good idea 'cause I'd be able to move in early, have more time to get to know the campus, meet some friends, etc. I'm soooo glad I ended up doing it 'cause all those things did happen :'D

04 June 2013 @ 11:10 pm
Quick notes 'cause I that's all I have time for:

  • Senior Banquet last Thursday really was the beginning of the end. We basically spent the night writing in each others' yearbooks, reminiscing, and laughing together. It was a blast. Like prom, but more fun 'cause there was no pressure to look flawless for the cameras and no drama :Db

  • After the banquet, a few of us went to York Beach. There, I walked on the beach by myself, away from everyone else. It was a really nice, calm moment. Peaceful. The calm before the storm, I guess you could say.

  • Oh yeah, and Madeline and I met a guy. Random guy on the boardwalk with a telescope. I know, it sounds bad at first, but he turned out to be a nerdfighter! We ended up talking to him for a couple hours. I got home at around 1:30, and went to bed around 2:30.

  • A couple hours later, I woke up and prepared to go on a 12-hour bus ride to Penn State for ARML. It was the nerdiest thing ever, I loved it. Best part was spending quality time with Gabby and Joey. They're the best ♥ Anyways, we were there all weekend. Got home around 8:00 p.m. on Sunday.

  • Yesterday was our first "official" marching practice for graduation. We got our official partners. Totally crushing on mine. I know him from middle school, vaguely. Our social circles do not overlap AT ALL, yet he's one of those whom I feel totally comfortable talking to. He's really sweet. And cute. And sweet. We're probably the only ones having a decent conversation while we march. I told him to take shorter steps 'cause I have shorter legs. He got a little ahead of me and apologized, aha :'D So sweet ♥ Too bad he's not going to UNH, though.

  • Tomorrow is Senior Skip Day. I'm coming in for 4th block, though. Mostly 'cause I need my cap and gown for baccalaureate (whoa, I can't believe I spelled that correctly on the first try :o) tomorrow night. Also 'cause that class is the only one we still have to do stuff in.

  • I'm currently failing that class 'cause one of our group members never turned in our lab report. Mr. Endrizzi pulled me out in the hall to talk to me about it 'cause he knows that I have the most to lose if I fail the class. He's being really nice about it. He's giving me a chance to turn in my own report. I'll give Josh one more chance, though.

  • Secret: I don't think I'm going to be very emotional at graduation, for some reason. It's not that I'm not sad to leave. I just...I don't know. Maybe it just hasn't hit me yet.

Talk to you guys later ♥
Current Mood: indifferentindifferent
Current Music: Girls' Generation -- LOVE&GIRLS
11 May 2013 @ 07:31 pm
...as a 17-year old, that is ;P

1.) When is your birthday? In approximately 5 hours :Db
2.) How old are you turning? (Or if your birthday recently passed, how old did you turn?) EIGHTEEN~♪
3.) What was you’re favorite present that you’ve ever received? Japan Trip, hands down.
4.) Are you/did you have a party this year? if so what are you doing? Nah, I don't have anything planned.
5.) How do you usually celebrate your birthday? My family usually goes out to eat. In Indonesia, the tradition is that the birthday person  treats everyone, but I haven't done that yet. Now I'm working, they'll probably make me pay :'D
6.) What was the most memorable birthday that you had? Probably my 7th birthday. It was one month before my family moved to the US. We rented out a pizza/mini golf place. I had a Baskin Robbins Jamocha-flavored ice cream cake surrounded by dry ice (probably so that it wouldn't melt, but it made a cool smoke effect) and topped by a Barbie doll. I remember seeing a lot of people I didn't know, haha. Ooh, actually, I think that was also the year that I had multiple parties. In addition to the one I just described, I did one at my elementary school, one at my kindergarten, and another one at my pre-school. Again, 'cause I was moving to the US.
7.) If you had an unlimited amount of money what would you do for your birthday? I would go to Japan and have a shopping spree, then I would go to Jakarta and celebrate with my family there, then I would go to back to the US and celebrate with everyone here!
8.) What’s your birthday wish list? ...I don't really have one? I don't really get stuff for my birthday anymore, other than ones that my friends randomly surprise me with ♥
9.) If you only had one birthday left, what would you do for your birthday? See question 7
10.) Show a picture from your birthday, preferably an embarrassing one. ...I don't have any? We never really celebrate my birthday, so.
11.) Do you have any birthday traditions? No. Well, see question 7, I guess.
12.) What’s your favorite part about your birthday? Seeing how many people remember? XD It's usually more than I expect. I honestly get so touched when people go out of their way to wish me happy birthday.
13.) What’s one thing that changed a lot since your last birthday? Oh, there's sooooo much. My personality? My outlook on life, I guess.
14.) Have you ever been thrown a surprise party or have you ever thrown one for someone? A couple years ago, the Sunday School threw me a surprise party :3 It was so sweet~ That was my first surprise party ever, too.

I wanted to say thanks again, shindii_ruiizu for the birthday wishes ♥♥♥

Also, I'm 90% sure about this whole tattoo thing. My mom (well, my family, in general) is totally against this whole thing. If it wasn't for them, I would go out tomorrow and get it. I'm still trying to justify doing something my mom doesn't want me to do. But everyone needs to go through the rebel phase at least once in their life, right? (;

Thus, my last post as a 17-year-old.

'til next time.
Current Location: living room
Current Mood: contemplativecontemplative
Current Music: my sister and her boyfriend karaoke-ing
08 May 2013 @ 10:11 pm

Yep. In the end, the internship, liberal arts-ness, and (ultimately) finances, won me over. Also, I got sooooo scared at the prospect of going into such a specialized/intensive course at WIT >.< Like, what if I end up hating it? Anyways, the cons of my decision are still, and will probably stay, on my mind, but I am comfortable with my decision. It's just me being self-conscious of what others think of the school, mainly.

Oh yeah, so I watched the SMAPxSMAP 25th anniversary trip thing :3 Very reminiscent of V6's trips, of course. SMAP's member dynamics are very interesting. One of the main reasons why I love Arashi and V6 is because of their closeness and such, but I don't know. SMAP is just...different. I have never seen anything like them. It's obvious that some members are more popular than others and it's obvious that they're not the best of friends. Somehow they still keep a dynamic among them that's more than professional but not quite friends. Plus, Nakai tearing up at the end :'D ♥

I took the AP Calculus BC test today~ (Clearly, this post has no logical organization to it whatsoever). Our class was officially AP Calc AB, but our teacher tried to fit as much BC topics as he could for the 6 of us who took the BC test. We mostly had to study the rest on our own, outside of the classroom...meaning I didn't study them at all >.<;; The BC portion of the test  went horribly. I might have scraped by on series, but polar and taylor polynomials? Nope. The AB portion was sooooo easy, though! I'm expecting at least a 4 ^-^b

Lastly, I've seen a resurgence of activity on my f-page, which is awesome! Welcome back, f-listies ♥

'til next time~
Tags: , ,
Current Mood: relaxedrelaxed
Current Music: The Wanted - Walks Like Rihanna
20 April 2013 @ 07:36 pm
Hi, everyone :D

So I've been really, really stressed out these past couple of days because DEPOSITS ARE DUE ON MAY 1ST. Actually, I'll have to decide where I'm going to college by Wednesday because my sister and I are going away for spring break...but that's another post.

Right now, I'm between the University of New Hampshire and Wentworth Institute of Technology. They're both good schools with good computer science programs. There are pros and cons to both, though.

UNH pros:

  • It's much more affordable than WIT. I might be able to graduate with no debt and, as my guidance counselor put it, "the world will be [my] oyster for grad school"

  • I was offered an internship at the Inter-Operability Lab, which means I'll graduate with up to 4 years of work experience relevant to my field and I'll get paid for it.

  • I can easily minor in Japanese

  • It's a decent-sized liberal arts university. If I decide CS is not for me, it'll be easier to change majors.

  • I know a lot of people there

  • I'll probably commute from home

UNH cons:

  • I'll probably commute from home :P

  • I hate the campus. It's sooooo spread out and there are hills everywhere.

  • This is gonna so bad and elitist, but I did not work this hard in high school to go to a state university :x I know it's a good school and it's not even gonna matter where I get my degree from, but still. I would be lying if I said I wasn't disappointed.

WIT pros:




  • They have a wonderful co-op program

  • I'll get the "full college experience," as my teacher puts it

  • I would pretty much be guaranteed a job a soon as I graduate

  • The campus is nice and small and FLAT.

WIT cons:

  • I'll have about $60,000 of debt upon graduation. This is well below the average, and I'm confident I'll be able to pay it off easily 'cause jobs in this field pay really well.

  • I haven't seen the cafeteria/tasted the food there

  • I'll have to live on campus at least two years, which will contribute to most of my debt. Taking into account only tuition and fees, with scholarships and grants, the two schools are pretty much equal in cost.

  • General cost of living will be higher. With Prudential and Newbury St. around the corner...it's not looking good for my wallet.

  • If I decide CS is not for me, my life will be a living hell.

Putting that aside for now, I'm currently watching Popcorn! I have about half an hour left of the second disk. The feels I have for Arashi, especially when watching their concerts, cannot be put into words.

SPEAKING OF, my 18th birthday is right around the corner, and I'll be legally able to get a tattoo! I'm still debating whether or not I should get one, but I really want something to commemorate this era of my life. Some ideas I've had include

  • 今は すべて忘れて DANCE AROUND (lyrics from CARNIVAL NIGHT Part 2) around my left waist/hip area

  • 嵐♥ (for obvious reasons) on my left shoulder

  • ☆☆ (from PIKA☆☆NCHI Double) on my left wrist

  • Still... (again, pretty obvious) placement tbd

Don't ask me why I imagine them all on the left side of my body, haha.

Okay, this post is long enough.

'til next time ♥
Current Mood: confusedconfused
Current Music: エナジーソング~絶好調超!!!!~
25 March 2013 @ 08:24 pm
Last night, I went to the Emblem3 concert at the Paradise Rock Club in Boston with my sister~ It was a lot of fun. Definitely the smallest and most intimate concert I've ever been to.

For those who don't know, Emblem3 is a three-member boy band, though, I believe, they don't label themselves as such XD They were on the X Factor (US) last year and came in 4th. I fell in love with them after the first audition and again after they covered Matisyahu's "One Day" in the first live show. I absolutely love how they're not straight-up pop or R&B like most other boy bands. They kinda have a reggae/garage band vibe to them, which is super cool...like, last night, I thoroughly enjoyed the entire set list, even though I only knew 3 of the songs :'D I mean, I get bored watching Arashi or Westlife concerts at those times when they sing obscure mid-tempo songs I'm not familiar with!

But yeah, it was a great time. We decided not to line up to try and get good spots 'cause we didn't wanna deal with the crazy, rabid fangirls (It was like ShoCon, but 10x worse! =.=) and 'cause we're not even, like, in love with them, you know? It's just not worth it, haha.

After the concert ended, I could not stop thinking about Keaton, though :X He's the youngest member and my faaaaavorite ever since XF and...
Gushing over my newest celeb crush :PCollapse )

I just can't with him ♥ I've looked through his instagram accounts three times already. I think it has just been so long since I've liked a celebrity/idol in my age group :'D The past couple of years has been filled with Arashi, SNSD, Westlife, and The Wanted.

The kicker, though? I just found out that he's younger than me. WHAT IS MY LIFE.

Okay, I'm starting to revert back into...crazy fangirl again. I just need to get it out of my system.

Talk to you guys later ♥

P.S. I got accepted into Boston University!! ^o^ Also, I'm starting to get financial aid packages. I don't understand anything, they're so scary >.<
Current Mood: quixoticquixotic
Current Music: Sunset Blvd -- Emblem3
21 March 2013 @ 11:31 pm
I just read the translations of Arashi's farewell messages from the last episode of Himitsu no Arashi-chan.

I honestly haaaaaate last episodes. I can't even bring myself to watch the last episode of Shukudai-kun more than once.

Anyways, I honestly never thought Himitsu would ever end. It seems like whenever ratings dropped, they came up with new corners in a heartbeat and saved the show. Childminder, Human Beatbox, Mannequin 5, VIP Room, Sharehouse, among other various corners, will be missed ;~; ♥

On the bright side, Nino, Aiba, and Sho are getting their own shows (...unless those are rumors still?) and we still have Shiyagare and VSA.

In other news, Northeastern waitlisted me :\ That's okay, though--it was a very last-minute decision to apply there in the first place.

'til next time!
Current Mood: depresseddepressed
20 March 2013 @ 07:30 pm

Back so soon? I know, right?

Okay. So, college admissions letters are starting to come in~ And, of course, the ones I'm waiting to hear from the most are the ones with the latest d-days.

The colleges I applied to, in no particular order, are:
- Tufts University
- Wentworth Institute of Technology
- Northeastern University
- Boston University
- Dartmouth College
- University of New Hampshire
- St. Anselm College*
- Suffolk University*

*With St. A's, I applied there, but didn't submit my CSS PROFILE 'cause I didn't want to pay the money. With Suffolk, I didn't send in my SAT scores and I'm not sure if I sent in my FAFSA or not

And so far, the schools I have been accepted to are:
- Wentworth Institute of Technology
- St. Anselm
- Suffolk (!!)

Yep. I heard back from Suffolk today and I got in, even though I didn't send them my SAT scores. :'D I definitely was not expecting that.

Now, Tufts, Northeastern, and BU, please hurry >.<

'til next time ♥
Tags: ,
Current Mood: groggygroggy
Current Music: Jeopardy Theme Song